Ape Hanger Anger


Two weeks ago I ordered 10 inch ape hanger handle bars for my bike along with the 73 inch hydraulic clutch cable needed for the extra length. The current handle bars sit low and wide for my reach and cause me to ride straight armed, a position leading me into early fatigue and soreness in the neck. I could manly this out for @5,000 miles but I’d rather not. I ordered these things from a local HD dealer. The ape hangers are in stock but I haven’t seen the clutch cable and all I get when I call inquiring about the clutch cable eta is, “It’ll be here in a couple of days.” I’ve had enough of this ping pong communication fiction spit swappin’ via the phone and I drove up to the dealer to settle the matter in person. After I arrived at the dealer and parked the car I began rubbing my eyes and poking my fingers into the eyeball to make sure it looked like I’d been crying. I walked in and asked for the Parts Manager. He found me checking my eyes in a chrome slip-on exhaust; my eyes looked like red slits above a huge nose. The nice gentleman introduced himself as Stan; he’d just been there a week and was still putting out fires. He asked me if the pollen had been messing with my eyes. I replied, “Not really. Now look here Stan, I ordered this 73 inch clutch cable about two weeks ago to match up to the 10 inch ape hangers that I’m getting so I’ll be more comfortable when I leave in just 10 days to ride cross country and see America with my pal. Y’all keep giving me the run around and it’s about to make me a nervous wreck ‘cause I don’t want to ride my Harley in pain around the world like I was sitting on a café racer! Y’all also tell me there’s no other handlebar option for comfort other than the 10 inch ape hangers!” I’d worked myself into a true tear-fest and Stan offered me a shop towel. Stan consoled, “Jeff, you call me tomorrow @3pm and I’ll have this all sorted out!” I called Stan today, April 29, 2013, @ 3pm and he advised me that the clutch cable vendor had never gotten the fax order. I heard train horns blowing out of my ears. “So Stan, did you order that cable and have it expedited?” “Yep, sure did, it’ll be here in a couple of days.”

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